You Are Always Searching for Freedom

From Bluetruth

The essential masculine ecstasy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn't understand these masculine ways and needs.

Your basic motivation is to be released from constraint and experience the freedom on the other side. What are some of the most common forms of masculine ecstasy? Orgasm is one. The typical masculine orgasm, as you probably know, involves a build-up of tension, or constraint, until the dam finally breaks, and your tension and energy are released. The post orgasmic state is one of death-like peace, an emptiness akin to a blissful oblivion. The masculine is always seeking this release in one way or another.

Most sports provide this masculine thrill of release from constraint into freedom. In football, for instance, the team with the ball is constrained by the other team that is lined up in front and ready to block them. The challenge is to break through the line and carry the ball to freedom. People with masculine essences become insanely emotional during this ritual of challenge and release from constraint into freedom. And if the freedom is achieved, men will shout and cheer, as if their deepest heart desire has occurred--and it has. This breakthrough into freedom, however it occurs, is the main motive of the masculine. All masculine goals--at work, on the meditation cushion, or on the football field--are directed toward more freedom.

The typical masculine desire for freedom involves the feeling of death, which is the ultimate masculine fear and freedom, in one way or another. Orgasm is actually called petite mort or "little death" in French. You say that you hope your favorite football team "kills" the other team, and you celebrate your financial "killings" with great glee.

You are probably also familiar with darker aspects of the masculine desire for freedom. War, which is motivated by the desire for freedom, is a quintessential masculine pursuit. Most sports are ritualized war, but actual war itself resonates with the core of most men. Even movies about war--men being at their edge, giving it all they've got, up against death itself, motivated by a higher cause--evoke intense emotion in men. The capacity to face death for the sake of freedom, whether actually in war or ritually on the football field or chess board, is the ultimate masculine act, evoking men's deepest emotions.

The same capacity to face death is necessary for spiritual freedom. To live free in spirit, you must be willing to face your fears and let go of anything that limits your love. The attachment to comfort and security is what limits most men in their capacity to make a spiritual touchdown. The other team is your own need for private security. You are fighting a war with your own self-sense. To be free is to die to your need to be a separate self. What, then, could be constrained? Ego death, absolute surrender to the point of oneness, is the ultimate freedom. Few men ever release themselves enough to relax in this depth of freedom because they are afraid of absolutely no stress. No stress means no thoughts, no sense of protected self, no mission to accomplish. The end of the masculine game.

Yet, this stress-free, unprotected end of the game is exactly what you are always seeking, through orgasm, financial killings, or winning a war. You are willing to experience lesser forms of masculine "death" and ecstasy, but you are unwilling to face the death of your separate self-sense, and finally be the freedom you have only allowed yourself to taste in moments.

Men will always enjoy facing forms of "death" and coming out the other side into freedom, whether in the form of boxing matches, cop movies, martial arts, orgasm, philosophy (the stress releasing "ah" of insight), or ego death. You must own the primacy of your desire to be free. Then, you can enjoy the lesser forms of masculine ecstasy, but dedicate yourself to its highest form: transcendence of the fear of death by facing the limiting stress of your own self-sense, and relaxing through it, into the absolute freedom you have always intuited at your core, but sought through only temporary means.

The feminine, on the other hand, is not seeking freedom, but love. A woman's bliss is not in emptiness, but in fullness. Her means is not release, but surrender. This is why a woman is upset when a man begins snoring after orgasm. He has finally achieved, in post-ejaculative emptiness, the blissful freedom from stress he has been seeking all day, one way or another. She, however, is hoping to experience love and fullness through sex, and a snoring man just doesn't do it for her.

The feminine seeks fullness and abhors emptiness. She will fill her empty shelves with nicknacks, seashells, and pebbles collected from special places. When she does not feel full of love, she seeks to fill herself with ice cream, chocolate, or conversation, rather than empty her stress through tv or ejaculation, as men often do. Her dark side enjoys the emotional aggression in soap operas and romance novels, rather than the physical aggression of boxing matches and porno movies. She longs to fill her sense of spiritual emptiness by surrendering her heart and being filled with love. Her basic means toward spiritual unity is surrender into the devotional fullness of unbounded love, rather then breaking through the fear of ego-death into the unconstrained infinity of absolute freedom.

In the end, the feminine search for love and the masculine search for freedom reach the same destination: the unbounded and infinite ground of being who you are, which is both absolute love and freedom. But until you finally relax into the place you always are, your woman will continue to surrender--to you, chocolate, and shopping--in the hope of being filled with love, and you will continue to release yourself--through television, orgasm, and financial success--in the hope of being emptied of stress into unconstrained freedom.