What She Wants Is Not What She Says

From Bluetruth

Sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain English, not to get him to do something, but to see if he is so weak that he will do it. In other words, she is testing his capacity to do what is right, not what she is asking for. In such cases, if the man does what his woman asks, she will be disappointed and angry. The man will have no idea why she is so angry or what could possibly please her. He must remember that her trust is engendered not by him fulfilling her requests, but by him magnifying love, consciousness, and success in their lives, in spite of her requests.

This is a true story. A somewhat quiet and sensitive man was learning sexual yoga. In this yoga it is important to learn to bypass ejaculation, circulating the stimulated energy through the body and heart in a kind of whole body orgasm, rather than losing energy in a spasm of ejaculative release. He was also learning to express his animal-like passion instead of always remaining calm and passive during sex.

One day, this man and his wife were driving in their car. Passing a park, they spontaneously decided to stop the car, run into the woods, and make wild love on the grass beneath the trees. Neither of them had even made love outdoors before. Here they were, clawing at each other, growling, shrieking, passionately aggressive with one another. It was a real breakthrough for them.

Suddenly, the man realized he would ejaculate unless they slowed down for a few seconds. "Stop moving for a bit," he told his wife. "If we keep going like this, I'm going to come."

But the woman kept moving, even more vigorously. "I want you to come inside of me," she begged. "I want you to fill me with your seed."

The man had a split second to decide which way he was going to go, and he decided to let go and give his woman her wish. He ejaculated inside of her, and relaxed.

But when he looked at his wife's face, she was clearly upset. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

"You came," she answered.

"But you said you wanted me to fill you with my seed, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I said that in order to feel that you were strong enough not to!"

The man felt depleted and empty. He felt he had failed in his practice of sexual yoga. He knew that ejaculating had not been the right thing to do in the moment, but he had succumbed to his wife's wish. Now, she was disappointed. When she said to fill her with his seed, she really wanted to feel that he was strong enough to maintain what he knew was right, and not ejaculate. That would have been much more erotic to her, more polarizing, and more trust producing than his obedience to her request to ejaculate.

Your woman probably tests you in this way all the time. Her ultimate desire is to feel your full consciousness, your trustable integrity, your unshakable love, and your confidence in your mission. Yet she will rarely ask you directly for these things. She would rather try to distract you from your truth, and then feel that she cannot--that you hold fast to your truth while you continue to love her.

If you are a weak man, this feminine trait of wanting one thing and asking for another will piss you off. You will wonder, "Why don't you just tell me what you really want, instead of saying one thing and meaning another, expecting me to figure it out?" This is the view of a man who does not understand that women are an incarnation of the divine feminine. And the divine feminine settles for nothing less than the divine masculine.

The divine masculine is consciousness. A superior man practices maintaining full consciousness in all situations. If ejaculation results in a decrease of your fullness, a diminution of your presence, a collapse of your consciousness, then you should not ejaculate. Even if your woman says she wants you to. Especially when your woman says she wants you to.

Your woman will ask you to do all kinds of things, every day. Do not allow yourself to be swayed from your truth, from the direction of your heart. Underneath your woman's superficial request is her actual desire and need: she wants your passionate fullness to pervade her, she wants to be able to trust the unshakability of your loving, she wants to feel in her bones that your divine masculine presence is stronger than your distractibility.

Your woman is a form of the goddess, taunting you, testing you, seducing you, ready to chop your head off with her wrath if you are weak and ambiguous in your truth, and ready to surrender to the force of your loving if you are steady and brilliant in your loving consciousness.

Know that your woman is always pleased most by your strength in love, freedom, and consciousness. If her requests and desires can sway you from what she knows is your highest goal, she will be angry and disappointed with you, even though she asked for it. Always act to maintain your fullest consciousness. Always apply your sword of discrimination to your woman's requests, never taking them at face value, but always checking with your deepest wisdom and following the road of your highest truth, even if it seems to mean disappointing your woman. She won't be disappointed if she feels you are strong and clear in the true direction of your heart. And if she is disappointed by your deepest truth, you shouldn't be with her.