The Wonder of Intimacy
From Bluetruth
by Amara Charles
Making love is probably the most intimate thing we can possibly do. When we make love we generate a very precious and sacred energy together. Considering intimacy and sexual energy as "sacred" might be a new way of thinking for some. For others, it may be the most natural idea in the world. Each and every one of us was created from a sexual union. Enjoying our years together with intimacy is one of the most important natural ways to stay happy, calm and healthy.
Sharing our sexual essence with someone is probably the most intimate thing we can possibly do. Considering sexual energy "sacred" may be a new way of thinking for some. For others, it may be the most natural idea in the world. Each and every one of us is created from a sexual union. Enjoying our years together with intimacy is a beautiful way to stay happy, calm and healthy.
Although we all have our own personal experiences and beliefs surrounding sexuality, everyone can develop a healthier attitude by learning to be more caring and loving during intimate moments. When our sexual experiences become special times of sharing energy, it uplifts our spirits, improves our relationships and can even restore our body to greater health and youthfulness.
Did you ever wonder why a really good sexual experience feels so good? Maybe you haven't ever stopped to think - after all, who has time to consider the internal workings of hormones and neurons during times of intimacy! The magical truth is that whenever our bodies achieve a climax, they go through a marvelous symphony of complex and superb transformations. For one thing, the neo cortex of the brain is stimulated during intense stimulation. This triggers the release of sexual secretions such as estrogen, testosterone, serotonin and other beneficial hormones. This release of sexual energy is not only emotionally beneficial; it also rejuvenates the body helping us become more youthful and healthy.
Three Keys to Increasing Intimacy
Key One Just before you are about to make love, ask your partner one simple question: "How can I be more loving, how can I be more kind?" Whether you are a man or woman, new lovers or have been together for many years, approaching your sexual union with an attitude of caring in this way will automatically engender greater feelings of love and connection together.
Key Two The second key is about being present and sensitive to the needs of your partner. Most of us wish to be sensitive lovers and want to give our partners pleasure they will enjoy, but all too frequently we get distracted, or we bring up issues from the past. So the second key is how to obtain a clean slate. A good way to do this is to imagine you are a sharing with your lover for the very first time. Place all your attention on the moment. For example, if you are giving your partner a hug, put your whole being into that hug. If you are kissing, don't rush past those lips thinking about what's next. Feel your partner's lips. Practice slowing down. Relax into that kiss as if it's the only kiss you have ever had. It is not always easy to be 'in the moment' and forget about past issues. Being present with your partner is a skill that needs to be practiced again and again. Be gentle with each other. If you notice you are not present with each other, remind yourself, or gently remind your partner. Be tolerant and kind when you or your partner forgets to be sensitive in the moment. A very simple way to pull yourself back into the present is to ask your partner questions such as: "How are you feeling now?" "Does this feel good?" or "Do you like this?" You don't have to stop the action and have a big serious discussion about things! This will interrupt the flow of your connection. Just speak gently and lovingly to your partner. Honest and continual communication is really the key.
Key Three The third key to enjoying greater intimacy is to be creative and give from your heart! Like anything else in life, if we keep doing the same old thing it gets boring. Be creative in order to keep your sex life spicy and alive. It's up to you to notice if you are in a rut. If your love life is a bit dull and you feel that you are not getting what you want sexually, there is a simple way - give them what you would most like to receive.
In other words, if you feel that you are lacking intimacy, be more intimate. If you feel you are not getting the kind of commitment you want from your partner, give your total commitment. Although you may not always get back what you give right away, the important thing is to give from your heart without expecting something back.
You don't have to spend lots of money, or do anything outside your comfort zone in order to give from your heart. It is easy to do and it does not cost anything. In fact, when it comes to enjoying more intimate sexuality, simple gestures of kindness work far better than extravagant or complicated efforts.
Ideas to Open Your Lover's Heart
Write your lover a poem (or buy a card) thanking them for sharing themselves with you. Open your heart totally, be as vulnerable as you can and let them know how utterly special they are to you.
1. Leave your lover a text message asking them to meet you at a secret rendezvous.
2. Give your honey something sexy thanking them for the joy they bring to your life.
3. For the more daring, offer a day where you agree to do anything your lover asks!
4. Light a special candle, place flowers and beautiful items in your love nest and then express your deepest heart felt desires and gratitude for being alive with your partner.
5. Ask nothing of your partner-only express your gratitude for being who they are.
6. Then make love together, sharing your laughter, your feelings, your sadness, and your tenderness.
7. Share everything with wild abandon. Let go of what's supposed to happen and simply enjoy the moments of being together.
8. Remember, giving what you would most like to receive is the most sacred gift of all.
In beauty,
Amara