She Needs Your Consciousness to Match Her Energy
From Bluetruth
A man must be able to meet his woman with consciousness equivalent to her energy. The feminine destructress must be met by the masculine destroyer. The goddess of devotion must be met by the god of all-pervading love. Dark or light, a man can't be stuck in, or avoid, any areas of his masculine capacity or his woman will test him there. These areas of testing are usually first on the dark side. Only after trust is established there, only when the dark feminine lover knows she will be met by the dark masculine lover, will testing proceed toward the light.
As you probably know, your woman is capable of being a witch, a sex slave, an Amazon, a goddess of light, a nurturing mother, a demoness, a luscious lover, a wise teacher, a wild animal, and everything in between. As a general rule, she will keep returning to the energy that you cannot match.
For instance, if you are particularly turned off by her anger, she will seem to return, again and again, to the energy of anger. If you are unable to embrace her anger in the ferocity of your loving, transforming her anger into passion, she will continue to test your capacity to do so. Any of her energies that you are unable to transform into love through the force, clarity, and humor of your consciousness will return for you to face, again and again.
Perhaps she gets tense and agitated often. You have tried talking about this with her countless times. Nothing seems to make a difference. So you just stop trying. You learn to tolerate her tension.
Without consciously choosing to get tense, she will continue to test you. Until your consciousness is able to blossom her beyond her tension, you will be tested. A lesser man might decide, "Well, she's going to have to deal with it herself." But she would not be in relationship with you if she wanted to deal with it herself. She wants your consciousness--clear, strong, and free--as much as you want her radiance. If you are not penetrating her moods, she can't feel your free consciousness. Instead, she feels you throw up your hands, impotent in the face of her energy.
The secret is to match her energy with consciousness demonstrated through your body. If she is screaming and breaking dishes, your body must meet her energy. Your fearlessness and strength of love must manifest through your body. If you are cringing, if your voice is restrained, and you are telling her that you love her, she won't believe you. If you walk up to her, hold her in your arms, and laugh affectionately in the humor of the moment, she will feel your freedom, if it is for real. She will feel it because it is communicated through your body.
Your body, tone of voice, and the look in your eyes mean a lot more to her than anything you could say. Don't tell her what to do, but do it with her, with your body. If she is tense and closed down, lift her arms up above her head and kiss her heart. Don't just tell her to open up. Actually open her up, physically, with the openness of your body.
The same is true of her bliss; you must meet it bodily. If she is in the ecstatic throes of devotional surrender to divine love, then your consciousness must be just as free. Your body must meet hers full of relaxation, power, and trust. Your capacity to surrender through your fears and release your sense of separate self in divine communion must be as strong as her surrender into love. And you must show it through your body, not just your words.
If your surrender into communion is not as strong as hers, she will return to the place of your limiting fear, your weak link, and test you there. If you collapse or react with unlove when she questions your financial ability, she will continue to do so. If you feel weakened when she questions your sexual ability, she will continue to do so, implicitly or explicitly.
She will never trust your "lighter" masculine capacities until you have proven your "darker" masculine capacities. Your woman has an intuitive knowledge concerning your consciousness. She knows that if you are not free to meet her dark destructress energy and ravish her in love, you won't be free to meet the dark destructress of the world--who will challenge your spiritual freedom--with strength and love.
You need not concern yourself with pleasing her. That's not the point. She is offering you a gift. She is presenting you with an energy in the form of her mood and emotion, offering you an opportunity to learn to "master" this energy with your fearless loving. Whatever energy she offers you, you can be sure the world will offer it to you as well. If you have ever tried to increase your income, or magnify your spiritual clarity, you know that the world will test you. Only through your persistence, fearlessness, and loving service does the world yield to your efforts.
And the same is true of your woman. You are not trying to please her. You are learning to pervade the world, including her, with consciousness and love. That is what you are here to do.
The world will test you with dark, wild, and resistive energies financially and spiritually, for example, in the same way your woman is testing you emotionally. If you hide your deepest gifts from her in fear, you will also hide your deepest gifts from the world in fear. If you give up at a certain point with her, you will likewise only go so far in the giving of your gift to the world.
Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love. Her gift, if she is a good woman, is to test you with her darkest moods, over and over and over, until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge, and you are able to pervade her with your love, just as you are here to pervade the world. In response to your fearless consciousness, she will drench your world in love and light.
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
