Praise

From Bluetruth

Imagine praising the next person you see. Praise him or her as fully as possible, so you are embarrassed that you are so praiseful. What praise would you give?

Picture someone you know—anyone—and feel: What is the most magnanimous praise you can offer? Remember your mother and father as you offer this praise. Imagine doing so now. How do you feel?

You have probably chosen a career and sought an intimate partner in reaction to the praise you never got from your parents. Take time to remember what you didn’t get from your mother and father, and look at what you seek through your career and intimate relationship.

What do you wish your parents had told you more? Really feel into your childhood. Feel, as a child, what your parents said or didn’t say to you. What do you wish your parents had given you more of? What do you wish your parents had said to you?

To the next person you see, silently give the praise you didn’t get enough of from your parents, but wish you had. Give this praise silently to everyone you see for the next three days. In your imagination, give this praise silently to your parents, right now. How does it feel to offer the praise you never got, but wished you did?

If your heart doesn’t feel this praise is true while giving it to your parents—if you feel that you are faking it—then you are probably carrying around a turtle shell or “home” of non-praise in which you hide.

Your retraction of praise shapes the love you are willing to give—through speech, sex, and touch. It also holds back the love you would otherwise offer through your life’s work.

Give the praise that you wish that your parents had given you more of. Give it to everyone silently, and give it to your lover out loud, whether you feel they deserve it or not. Find out what happens when you do.

Consistently, break your non-praise shell of hiding. Your reluctance to praise in your lover what you never got from your parents is the shape of this shell. Let your intentional praise crack open your heart and discover the offering you were born to give, to everyone.