Dont Analyze Your Woman

From Bluetruth

The feminine's moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source. No analysis will work. There is no linear chain of cause and effect that can lead to the kernel of the "problem." There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these storms are the high and low pressure systems of love. When a woman feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate into joy, regardless of the supposed reason for the mood.

As a man, you probably want to find the cause for the problems in your life. That way, you can eliminate the source of the problem. By getting to its root, you can solve the problem, hopefully once and for all. And so, when your woman seems to have an emotional problem, you want to know why. You want to know what is upsetting her. You assume there is a specific cause. You want to know what triggered her bad mood so you can fix the situation.

Because you love her, you begin asking her questions to get to the root of the problem. "What's wrong? Did I do something to upset you? What are you crying about? Are you about to start your period? Did somebody say something horrible to you?"

You are under the illusion that when you find out the cause of her affliction, then the cure will easily follow. But it doesn't work that way; your questioning is probably making her mood worse.

The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman's emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don't stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love--the same love that is motivating your questioning--immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.

It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you gave her love or analyzed her when she is upset. It's so easy to give her love; it's what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That's exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the situation worse, most of the time.

The next time your woman is in a bad mood, try this: Assume she is not feeling loved. Simply assume it, even if it seems that it can't be that simple, that there must be some underlying reason for her upsetness, a reason that you could fix. Assume she is more like a flower that needs watering than an engine that needs a carburetor adjustment. Don't assume anything is wrong at all. Assume that she wants love from you, in a deep, strong, steady, and sensitive way.

Look into her eyes with love, touch her how she likes to be touched with love, and speak or sing to her with love. Discover what happens to her mood. Then, after her mood has been dissolved by your loving and she is happy and relaxed, you can talk about anything that still needs to be talked about.

If you ever find yourself asking your woman questions about her mood while she is still in it, you are already on the wrong road. First, give her love through your eyes, touch, movement, and tone of voice. Then and only then, after the connection of love has been made, find out what remains to be talked about.