Amara Charles Sexual Agreements Within Monogamous Relationships
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An excerpt from 'Sexual Agreements by Amara Charles'.
Sexual Agreements Within Monogamous Relationships
I think deep down we all seek a beloved union. We keep asking, 'Is this the one?' We want to know if we can bare our soul to this person. 'Is this one going to run if I show how vulnerable I really am? Is this the one who is going to stay no matter what?'
Having that profound desire to be authentic, be loved, give fully, and devote ourselves to our soul’s growth is the underlying motivation that drives us to seek the safety and security of an enduring partnership. Finding someone with whom we can be exclusively sexual for the vast majority may be the best way to mature and spiritually grow.
However, being monogamous has its set of challenges. When speaking of sexual agreements, it may be that being monogamous is the most difficult kind of relationship to maintain. Who would agree to eat the same thing for dinner for the rest of her life? It’s a challenge to find a person you dearly love, and then also find them sexually exciting when you see them day in and day out.
For most, being monogamous provides the kind of safety needed to open sexually. For those who enjoy having one partner, sex is so intensely intimate and private that the idea of sharing with more than one person seems absurd. If you want to explore sexual agreements within a monogamous relationship, it is important to carefully consider why. Is it your nature, or are you choosing this form of relationship because it provides you the best way to be intimate? Are you hiding out inside a relationship?
Are you seeking to be taken care of, or are you ready to make a commitment that includes riding through both precarious and precious times together? Even if you choose a monogamous lifestyle, what are you going to do about other attractions?
In order to consciously choose monogamy these questions and more must be answered in a genuine way. If you have chosen to explore a monogamous relationship because it’s what you most desire and need, then making sound sexual agreements is essential. If you want to avoid the common pitfalls and the loss of energy that can happen by being with the same person, there is a way. Agreeing to be sexually exclusive, yet still enjoying freedom may sound impossible, but it is achievable.
Finding the unlimited potential of sexual intimacy with one person is an amazing journey.
Misunderstanding the Agreement
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